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How to Change Habits

A habit is a fixed or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is difficult to let go of. A habit forms by repeatedly performing the same action(s) until they become automatic and are stored in our subconscious (the part of the mind that we are not fully aware of but that influences our actions and feelings).

Our habits can manifest and affect us in many different ways. We may tend to use the same vocabulary (verbal habit), take our phone out of our pocket (physical habit), think the same way about certain topics (mental habit), and the list goes on. If we have habits we don’t like, we can change them by raising our awareness.

Raise Awareness

Habits become changeable when we raise awareness (become conscious of our actions and feelings in the moment). We can become aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions by tracking ourselves—everything from our movements to behavior, responses, etc. The more detailed we are about ourselves and our actions, thoughts, and feelings, the easier it becomes to break and change our habits.

Another way to understand awareness in relation to changing habits is by realizing that the present moment is the only time we can change our habits. We only act in the present moment. Understanding this can shift our focus to the “now.”

Awareness can also be rooted in our physical surroundings. By asking ourselves what is happening around us right now, we can awaken our awareness simply by questioning our environment. The more we immerse ourselves in the physical setting and understand what is happening now, the faster we raise our awareness. The more detail-oriented we are, the more our awareness grows. For example, if we are in a park and see a man and a woman talking on a bench, we could ask questions about their body language, their relationship, whether it’s a pleasant or unpleasant conversation, if they seem bored, how they respond to each other, and whether anyone else is listening. This investigation can go on indefinitely, but the key is to apply this level of curiosity to our own lives.

When we aim to become more aware of ourselves and our own habits, we can ask questions like how we are moving, why we are doing what we’re doing, what we are doing right now, why we are in our current surroundings, and so on. The more we can observe ourselves in our physical environment, the easier it becomes to step away from old habits. This shift from being passive or indifferent to being curious makes all the difference. With that in mind, let’s explore some techniques to raise awareness and enable us to change our habits.

Habit Tracking

Tracking our habits raises awareness and moves us closer to outcomes that are more beneficial to us. Habit tracking can help us develop an awareness of our needs and behaviors that improves our productivity. Track your habits by committing to one or more daily or weekly practices:

Post-it Notes: Write down three things you want to achieve today—something you can realistically accomplish within the day.
Time Management: Dedicate 30 minutes to focused work, then take a break.
Journaling: If you face a problem with a project, write down the problem and potential solutions.
Mindful Routines: Create space for routines that focus on relaxation.
Reading: Set aside 30 minutes for reading.
Exercise: Go to the gym and work out for 30 minutes.

Habit tracking takes many forms. It provides insights into how we spend our time and helps us understand the benefits and drawbacks of our activities. Today, issues like excessive screen time or sedentary work are common problems. Sometimes, we fall into cycles of procrastination and fail to use our time productively. By tracking habits, we can identify which ones to keep and which to let go of.

Positive Reinforcement

Set a daily goal and try to achieve it. Do your best, and regardless of the outcome, acknowledge yourself for making the effort.

Examples of goals:

Work with focus for 30 minutes.
Run a certain distance within a set time.
Meditate for 10 minutes.
Avoid using your phone while socializing.

Examples of positive reinforcement:

Enjoy a snack.
Watch TV for 30 minutes to an hour.
Praise yourself for your effort.
Spend 15 minutes on your phone.

Positive reinforcement helps us move away from unhealthy habits and teaches us to differentiate between work and relaxation. By setting small, attention-demanding goals and rewarding ourselves with breaks afterward, we motivate ourselves to identify and reflect on our habits. Once we’ve identified them, we can assess whether they are beneficial or harmful and decide whether to keep or change them. Over time, we can challenge ourselves by increasing the duration or difficulty of the tasks.

When our performance doesn’t meet expectations, we often become frustrated and overlook the effort we’ve invested in changing our habits. Recognizing that effort is crucial. The most important thing we can do is try. No matter how hard or challenging it feels, and regardless of how high our expectations are, testing ourselves is essential for changing habits. We must acknowledge that we tried—that alone is the most significant step.

Journaling

You can approach journaling in various ways when it comes to changing habits. Write about virtues you want to uphold, a mantra you wish to manifest, or recurring patterns you’ve noticed. Journaling helps you change habits by maintaining awareness of what, how, and why you want to make those changes. Write by hand, as this allows your brain to keep pace with your thoughts, unlike digital devices, where you can type faster than you think. It’s crucial to write at a pace that lets you process your thoughts before putting them into words. This practice can elevate your awareness to a new level.

Mantras and Goals

Write down sentences that align with the habits you want to build or break. For example, if your goal is to get in better shape, write sentences that reflect that objective. A mantra is a belief you wish to live by, and it can help shift your thought patterns toward a more constructive mindset. A goal, on the other hand, helps guide the actions you want to take.

Examples of mantras:

I improve my fitness every day.
I am exactly as I should be.
I love myself.
Everything I go through makes me stronger.

Examples of goals:

Train your body.
Drink more water.
Give more compliments.
Tidy up.

Mantras and goals can help direct your lifestyle toward a more intentional and responsible approach. If you are dissatisfied with where you are and don’t consider how your actions affect you, you may end up living aimlessly. By setting a clear direction and examining whether it leads to a better way of living, you gain greater awareness of how you want to live and how you can change.

Observation

Write down your observations about anything you think about. This could be something that happened today or something from long ago. Whenever you encounter a thought that brings up problems, frustrations, good memories, or positive interactions, jot it down. Once your thoughts are on paper, reflect on them with questions like:

“Do I really want to think about (blank) in this way?”
“How would I prefer to think about (blank)?”
“How can I think about (blank) differently?”

After reflecting on your thoughts, it can be helpful to reach a conclusion and move on, so these thoughts don’t continue to trouble you.

Freewriting

If you struggle to get started with journaling, begin by writing out your thoughts as they come. It doesn’t matter what you write, as long as you keep writing. You can try exercises like setting a timer for two minutes and writing nonstop during that time. You can also respond to questions you’re pondering or explore topics that are difficult to let go of.

Gratitude Journaling

Practicing gratitude can give you a more positive perspective on things you may take for granted. By expressing gratitude, you learn to appreciate life and what you have. A gratitude practice might include reflecting on prompts like:

Three things I’m grateful for.
One thing I’m proud of.
A person I’m grateful for.
The best part of today.
A reason to be excited about the future.
A kind act I’ve received.
A valuable lesson I’ve learned or am in the process of learning.
How can I show gratitude to the people I care about?

Practicing gratitude activates our prosocial system, fostering a positive mindset that makes our thoughts more accessible and constructive. Human nature often inclines us to criticize ourselves rather than embrace and acknowledge our imperfections. With a gratitude exercise, we also explore the positive aspects of negative situations, finding silver linings and learning to appreciate our journey more fully. Gratitude journaling not only improves our outlook but also builds emotional resilience, helping us maintain a balanced and proactive approach to life’s challenges.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness (a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, often used as a therapeutic technique) is a practice that helps us maintain and direct our awareness where we choose. At times, we forget to live in the present moment, allowing our thoughts to wander and old habits to resurface. Mindfulness supports habit change in two key ways:

Maintaining and elevating awareness: Mindfulness helps us stay attentive and grounded in the present moment.
Recognizing habits: It enables us to identify patterns and tendencies in our behavior, especially when we are at rest.

Preparing for Mindfulness Practices

Before diving into mindfulness exercises, we need to establish three essential foundations for effective practice:

Openness: Accept your thoughts as they are without feeling the need to act on them.
Focus on breathing: Give your full attention to your breath as an anchor for mindfulness.
Patience: Allow yourself the time to ease into the practice without judgment.

These elements are crucial to fully understanding and experiencing the benefits of mindfulness exercises.

Meditation

Set aside 5-10 minutes daily to do absolutely nothing but breathe. Avoid distractions like your phone, emails, TV, or even a cup of coffee. Simply sit upright or lie down in a quiet, undisturbed space. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing and your physical and mental state in the present moment.

Breathe deeply and notice how far the air travels into your body as you inhale, then exhale when you feel ready. With practice, meditation can become a powerful tool for enhancing awareness and relaxation.

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Walking Meditation

Take a walk, paying close attention to both your surroundings and yourself. Observe the details around you—the ground, walls, people, or anything else in your path. Simultaneously, notice how you walk, focusing on the rhythm and pace of your steps.

Adjust your pace to feel relaxed and remember to breathe deeply. The more you focus on the details of your surroundings and your own movements, the more mindful and grounded you’ll feel.

Slow Down

Engage in any activity as slowly as possible. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing—whether it’s washing dishes, walking, or writing—just do it at the slowest pace you can manage.

Let your awareness, not your mind, determine the tempo. This means staying fully present with what you’re doing and performing it intentionally. You can also apply this principle to other areas of your life, such as:

Slowing your speech.
Breathing more deliberately.
Reading at a measured pace.
Thinking with care.

Start slowly, and if things begin to feel rushed, consciously slow them down again. This practice cultivates mindfulness by bringing deliberate attention to every action, no matter how small.

Practice Proactivity

Proactivity (a person or action that creates or controls a situation rather than merely responding to it after it has occurred) helps us act consciously. Through proactivity, we can decide whether to maintain or let go of habits. By taking deliberate actions, we learn to adopt or discard habits effectively.

To practice proactivity, focus on doing just one thing at a time. If you are building a wall, ensure you lay one brick at a time. If you are writing by hand, focus on forming one letter at a time to create a word. Give your full attention to what you are doing in the moment. The more detail-oriented you are, the more conscious and intentional you become.

When you focus on doing one thing at a time, ensure your mind and body work in harmony at a unified pace. Being aware of your physical presence and where your attention lies fosters a powerful form of proactivity.

Atomic Habits

James Clear, a habits expert, developed a framework for habit formation called Atomic Habits. He discovered that real change comes from the accumulation of hundreds of small decisions. Rather than making drastic lifestyle changes, you achieve transformation by making small daily adjustments.

Clear’s process for habit change is based on four laws, which we’ll now explore:

The First Law: Make It Obvious

Start by making your habits obvious. This means cultivating awareness and maintaining attention to your actions at all times.

Point-and-Call Method: This technique acts as a safeguard against mistakes (bad habits) by pointing out the mistake and saying it out loud. By doing this, you signal to your brain how the habit is affecting you and why you want to avoid it. This process enhances self-awareness and encourages change.

Habit Scorecard: Track your daily routines and habits by writing them down. For instance:

Wake up
Turn off the alarm
Check your phone
Brush your teeth
Take a shower
Apply deodorant
Hang your towel to dry
Get dressed

Once you’ve listed them, evaluate each habit by marking:

Habits you want to keep: +
Neutral habits: =
Habits you want to remove: –

Here’s an example:

Wake up =
Turn off the alarm =
Check your phone –
Brush your teeth +
Take a shower +
Apply deodorant +
Hang your towel to dry +
Get dressed =

By staying consistent and practicing these exercises, your brain will gradually adapt, creating neural connections that make it easier to modify your habits. Over time, these small adjustments build momentum for long-term transformation.

The Second Law: Make It Attractive

Once we’ve developed awareness of our actions and thoughts, the next step is to make the habit attractive. The more appealing a habit or action is, the more likely we are to adopt it.

Habit stacking: Habit stacking involves pairing an activity you want to do with an activity you need to do. For example, you could cycle on an exercise bike while watching TV.

This can be structured using a method called habit stacking, which connects a current habit with the habit you want to build:

After [current habit], I will [habit I need].
After [habit I need], I will [habit I want].

Example:
If you want to watch sports but need to make sales calls:

After I return from my lunch break, I will call three potential clients (need).
After I have called three potential clients, I will watch sports (want).

Remember, it is the anticipation, not the reward itself, that motivates us to take action. The greater the sense of anticipation, the better we become at forming new habits.

The Third Law: Make It Easy

The next step is to make the habit as easy as possible. Habit change should be gradual—not rushed or overwhelming. The key is to take small, consistent steps forward without regressing.

Repetition of Actions: Start small and repeatedly practice the actions required for your new habit, ensuring they are as simple as possible. For example, if your goal is to do 100 push-ups in a day, start with five. If that’s too difficult, begin with just two.

Repetition reinforces habits, making your behavior increasingly automatic. Over time, this repetition restructures your brain, improving its efficiency at the desired activity and solidifying the habit.

The Two-Minute Rule: When starting a new habit, we often aim too high, which can lead to failure. The two-minute rule counteracts this tendency by simplifying the habit to its smallest actionable step. Here are some examples:

“Read before bed” becomes “Read one page.”
“Fold the laundry” becomes “Fold one pair of socks.”
“Run three kilometers” becomes “Tie my running shoes.”

The essence of this law is action and practice. Repetition is key, and simplifying the activity ensures it remains manageable. Planning is important, but without action, habits will not form.

The Fourth Law: Make It Satisfying

The final law focuses on making the habit satisfying. While the first three laws involve initiating the habit, the fourth law ensures its repetition, completing the habit loop. What makes a habit satisfying is the sense of immediate gratification, which is best achieved through instant reinforcement—a small reward for completing the desired behavior.

The Paperclip Strategy: Use two jars—fill one with small items like paperclips, marbles, or hairpins, and leave the other jar empty. Create a measurable goal: for every sales call you make, move one paperclip to the empty jar, or for every push-up you complete, transfer one marble. This strategy provides a clear, visual representation of your progress, offering immediate satisfaction and reinforcing the habit.

Habit Tracking: Habit tracking can take many forms, such as the paperclip strategy, a journal, a to-do list, a calendar, or even reminders like quotes or mantras. The key to effective habit tracking is visual progress, which provides instant gratification and boosts motivation.

Examples of Habit Tracking:

Use a to-do list and cross off tasks as you complete them.
Track virtues or personal values in a journal, marking off actions that align with them.
Use a calendar to check off days when you stick to your habit.

The ability to see your progress visually creates satisfaction, which motivates you to maintain and build on your habits. This reinforcement makes habit change sustainable over the long term.

The Process of Changing Habits

Changing habits requires awareness and repetition. The more we repeat an action, the more deeply it becomes ingrained in our behavior. To adopt new habits or eliminate unwanted ones, we must create proactive routines and take consistent action. Over time, habits will become automatic, but maintaining awareness and consistently repeating the tasks is essential until they feel natural. When we no longer experience resistance to learning a habit or withdrawal symptoms from avoiding bad habits, we know we are on the right path.

Maintain Awareness

Awareness is critical when learning new habits. To change a habit, we need to:

Be mindful of when it occurs.
Observe its outcome.
Determine whether it benefits or harms us.

Awareness brings us to a state of presence, which is the only mindset where we can recognize and change our actions. By staying fully aware, we gain the clarity needed to assess and adjust our behaviors.

Repeat Actively

Consistency is key. Repeat the habits you want to cultivate until they feel natural. Pay attention to each repetition and take deliberate action to integrate these habits into your life.

It may feel like a chore at first, but with time and patience, your brain will begin to understand the purpose behind your actions. This reduces resistance and helps you continue even if you forget why you wanted to change your habits initially.

Embrace Routines

Planning a day you look forward to can make it easier to integrate positive habits. By mentally preparing yourself for the rewards that come with your routine, you reinforce the habits and are more likely to repeat them.

When you create a routine that excites you, it becomes a powerful tool for habit change, making the process feel more enjoyable and sustainable.

Start as Simply as Possible

One common mistake when starting new habits is making the initial tasks too difficult. This increases the likelihood of giving up. Instead, aim for a balance between satisfying and easy.

Avoid overwhelming yourself with overly ambitious goals. Make gradual changes that feel manageable. As you build confidence, take on bigger challenges. If those feel too difficult, scale back again and continue with smaller, achievable steps.

Recognize Potential

Rather than criticizing yourself or the habits you want to change, focus on recognizing their potential. Treat the habit as an opportunity for growth rather than a negative behavior to confront.

Taking small steps in the right direction is far better than expecting too much from yourself and giving up. Acknowledge the potential of each habit—whether learning or unlearning—and its impact on your life.

By viewing the process of habit change as positive and constructive, you set yourself up for long-term success and personal growth.

Replace Your Needs

Avoiding our needs only makes it harder to change habits. Instead of ignoring our usual needs, replace them with beneficial alternatives. For example:

Instead of watching TV, meditate.
Instead of smoking a cigarette, chew gum.

If we don’t replace our needs, we risk creating a negative association with the habits we’re trying to adopt or eliminate. By substituting our needs with satisfying and constructive alternatives, we make it easier to change our habits effectively.

The Implementation of Habits

Changing habits offers numerous benefits in various aspects of life. It can help us:

Break addictions.
Improve work performance.
Achieve a healthier lifestyle.
Maintain peace of mind in stressful situations.

Habits form whether we’re consciously aware of them or not, so becoming mindful of our habits and intentionally changing them is essential. This awareness allows us to recognize patterns that may lead to emotional states like sadness or anger and adjust them for the better.

Increased Productivity

Developing habits that boost productivity enables us to use our time more effectively and achieve quality results. Habits help us work toward our goals and reach them faster. They can be applied in any context—work, fitness, or personal life—to improve efficiency and create a more fulfilling lifestyle.

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Enhanced Well-Being

Habits can be designed to improve our well-being. Often, we are unaware of habits that make us unhappy with ourselves or our lives. By raising awareness about what causes dissatisfaction and exploring the reasons behind it, we can implement habits that enhance our quality of life. Engaging in purposeful actions and tasks helps us steer our lives toward greater well-being.

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Improved Emotional Intelligence

Habits are created through awareness, which is also the tool we use to regulate our emotions. Being mindful of our habits improves emotional intelligence by helping us understand how we emotionally interact with our habits and how to regulate them.

Through increased self-awareness, we can better identify emotional triggers, respond to them constructively, and align our habits with healthier emotional states. This makes emotional regulation a natural part of habit-building, fostering personal growth and resilience.

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